


Tainted Love

by SmartieBear



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 09:56:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2617628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmartieBear/pseuds/SmartieBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 20th century came and went and then came the 21st. It was years after Japan died in WWII. But, Germany and Italy could never forgive themselves for what had happened. Though, both of them have different, terrible ways of coping with his death. Could being separated by death bring unity to the 2 nations?                                                    </p><p> </p><p>*WARNING*: Contains mild yaoi/fluff, self-harming and suicidal thoughts, moderate use of alcohol, and violence. Read at your own risk</p><p> </p><p>{A/N}: I'll transition between country names, like I will use human names for the main characters, but when the main character doesn't know the countries name, I will not use the countries human name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My grammar may be a little off, I didn't edit this yet so yeah be warned? xD

~FLASH BACK (that's what this entire chapter is, deal with it)~

Italy's POV

The sounds of gunshots and cannons were ringing through my ears. I had gotten used to it now I suppose. Though fighting, guns, weapons, etc. had never came naturally to me. So that's why I was hiding in a bush, showing no signs of caring about the war surrounding me whatsoever. To be honest, I don't know why I joined the Axis Powers. This war is utterly stupid and I hate violence. Unless it's fighting for pasta of course. I just wanted to go home safely to Romano and pasta. I got quite bored sitting behind the bush. But before I could get up, the war sounds seized. Before, It never showed any signs of stopping. Honestly, I hope Germany lost... I don't really care either way. Only if it shuts him up. But just hearing the gunshots and cannons stop, it made me think maybe it actually meant victory for the Axis Powers. Like I said, I don't care either way. When I got up the sight horrified me. Thousands of dead soldiers were displayed at the battle field before me. The majority of them had a Swastika sewn into their uniforms. I turned around and gagged into the bush that was just behind me. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve. But when I turned around, I saw a body that looked like the only person that could be alive. I ran to the un-identified male. As I knelt beside him, I gaped in horror as I realized who it was. It was Japan. If the battle was still going on, I surely would've been shot down my now. I looked down at Japan's wound, Right square in his stomach. Blood was pouring out of the corner of his mouth. He turned to me and gave me a heartbreaking small smile. That was the first time I had ever seen him show any emotion, besides anger. I clasped his hand that was closest to me., which happened to be his right. I opened my amber eyes to let the tears free.

"I'm so sorry Japan!" I managed to yelp out, sobbing over his barely conscious body.

"Shh, it is not your fault" Japan said in his adorable accent. Though his voice was hoarse and strained. He wiped the tears from my cheeks. It should have been the opposite, me comforting him, not him comforting me. But before I could respond, Japan went limp. As a sob racked through my body I scooped him up from the ground and rocked back and fourth for what felt like hours, but was only a couple of minutes. Finally, I lowered his limp, still smiling body to the ground. As I was closing his eyelids, I finally replied to him

"Ave Atque Vale"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Author's Note}: Yes, I am finally updating. I decided to not use Country names, I'm going to be using their human names. This story mostly revolves around Italy. Also, I'm going to be switching from 1st to 3rd person/Narrative and switching POV's. Thanks for reading! ~SmartieBear

Feliciano felt like he could never feel pain. He always just felt... numb. Every night he tried to feel something, anything. That's why he went to the razor for help. He felt as if it could be his only cure. A cure to the guilt that enveloped him. His amber eyes became a dull hazel brown. His curl had finally flattened. The countries hadn't seen him since the war. No one missed him anyways, or so he thought.

The only 2 people he had truly loved, left him. His big brother Lovino had ran away with Antonio, and he hadn't heard from him since the short voice mail he had received from him. Then Ludwig didn't even bother to visit. They were once so close. Now it was as if their friendship had never even existed.

Feliciano sighed as he sat up from he short slumber. He rarely got out of bed. To others, he would be considered depressed. But, he thought depressed was just another word for bored. The sheets were always covered in red. The only time he'd get up was to wash the bloody sheets, and showered. Dried blood wasn't the most pleasant thing to have plastered onto your skin. 

Glancing down at his wrists, he rubbed the old and new scars with his skinny fingers. It was a habit he had formed once he met the razor. Feliciano considered the razor his best friend. It kind of was if you thought about it. The razor never left his side, he always knew where it was, it saved him. 

Feliciano's eyes started to get droopy. After all, he had only gotten a 3 1/2 hour sleep. Not holding on any longer, he finally fell into the welcoming unconsciousness.

♣

♣

♣

Ludwig was passed out on his bed in his small bedroom. When he chose to awake, he would have a pounding headache and would wash it away with more alcohol and gambling than the night before. It was his way of coping. Unlike Feliciano, Ludwig had felt too much pain. It all washed away once he had poker chips in front of him and a large draft beer in his hand. 

To be honest, he was convinced he wasn't an alcoholic. In another persons eyes, he was a raging alcoholic who needed professional help.

He was rather poor from all the time he spent gambling. His brother Gilbert never noticed this. Gilbert was always to busy with his husband Matthew. Ludwig was jealous of Gilbert. He had everything. Everyone loved him. Even though he was a cocky dick who thought he was just spectacular and awesome. 

Thought it never seemed like it, Feliciano was always on Ludwig's mind. He screwed up majorly with him. He had lost both Feliciano and Kiku. He missed the way Feliciano would call him Doitsu. Ludwig practically lived on Feliciano's optimism. He missed every single thing about Feliciano. But, he failed. 

Ludwig had always wanted to tell Feliciano, three simple words. Ich Liebe Dich. He would always chicken out, though. 

That was his lifestyle. Drink, gamble, sulk over losing his entire life, and sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, this was short. All chapters are intended to be so yeah c: Also, you can read this on my wattpad account @SmartieBear


End file.
